10 years. Ten. TEN. X.

I’m only 27. I’ve been blogging (not necessarily daily) for 10 years today. It’s more than a third of my lifetime. I just started two small ones not even two weeks ago (will need to post more on those later). Obviously, I haven’t been blogging on this very domain… Obviously.

I opendiaried. I xanga’d. I livejournalled (and deadjournalled and greatestjournalled). I blogspotted. I’ve typepadded (not personally, though). I wordpressed and geocitied (RIP [Yahoo] Geocities). I twitter (yes, I count that). I’ve been on a lot of domains, I’ve saved most of them. I like to have that footprint to look back on. The young and (sometimes) stupid. The emotional. The mental. The just because.

10th blog anniversary seems so much more important and milestoney (I’m writing this on a severe and inevitable food coma, so you must forgive the tendency to make up words as I go along) than anything else before — though getting past that first year between my senior year of high school and first year of college was pretty monumental at the time. And the 5th year seemed like forever, as well as forever ago.

After the jump, a look back at years past… and my thoughts on them now.

PS: Why do they call it the ‘jump’ anyway? Thoughts?

February 23, 2000 - OD

I gotta admit. This is kinda weird, putting my journal out into the wide open Internet… for a good portion of people to see. But the intrigue is enough for me to try it out. Sure, I’ll still have my handwritten one — especially the entries I have during english class… those are more fun to write about. Considering I type a lot faster than I write, maybe this will be more appropriate. And since I’m on my computer for more time than I actually see my journal, maybe this option will be better. This is obviously my first entry — I really don’t know if anyone’s really going to read this… but the prospect of someone ACTUALLY reading this is scary — and yet, somehow fun. It’s weird, my roommate actually thinks that I’m writing a paper or something. This entire week is horrible. I’ve had 3 papers, 2 late assignments due this week. I have two exams next week. It’s horrid. And to top it all off! I’m SICK! sick sick sick sick. with the Common Viral Cold, they say. No cure. It sucks. It really does. Pounding headache, work –> those two just do not mix. Anyway… to give yall a taste out there of what my mind is REALLY like… maybe I should post a past entry. While I debate about that. I’ll type about today. We had a pointless meeting about sex, alcohol, and drugs in college — try a more inventive and interesting topic: like DEPRESSION in COLLEGE. ooh. there’s something we havent’ heard before. I went to see the BV Hockey game. we beat them good: 4-0. so their record is now 13-9. they still won their last two games. I’m so proud of the boys. Ok. I’m going to post a past entry. besides, I like to procrastinate. and typing is good therapy.

OpenDiary.com - 1827 journal entries. I found OD via bored.com. The 2nd half of this first entry was from a paper journal I wrote while on Sunday detention (I went to a boarding school) from 2/20/00. Obviously, I don’t think it’s nearly as strange for people to be posting quasi-personal entries online for other people to read. The age of information at everyone’s fingertips is the norm now. I don’t know if I realized the future was going to be like this back then. But I was thankful for the online outlet it provided. I was a senior in high school at the time, sick and on the verge of senior spring. And of the rest of my life. Who knew that one innocent little post would be the start of a major career move? Heck, at this point I still thought I was going to pursue medicine.

2001 - OD

for all the effort i thought i put into doing well at school — at the moment i’m not doing all that hot. for someone who was convinced that she wouldn’t miss anymore classes this year — i ain’t doin so hot now.

music lit yes? music lit no? he doesn’t take attendance anyway

chem yes? chem no? he doesn’t take attendance either, but i have a quiz today. lit con just ain’t happening.

wtf am i doing? wtf is happening? it’s like i’ve spiraled down into a world of *don’t give a shit about shit anymore* hell, i don’t even think it’s spiraling anymore… the world just dropped out from beneath my feet and nothing really matters anymore.

in the pit of my stomach, i know that this is a bad way to go. i know that i can go home for the sort of shit that i’m pulling right now. i know that i may never graduate class of 2004 from hws because of the stupid choices i’m making now.

funny, i can’t seem to care.

Yeah, see? Transition from high school to college wasn’t going so well. Even despite the fact I attended a college prep school. And for the record, I didn’t graduate from HWS either. I think I turned out better for it.

2002 - OD

fluffhair.

I actually don’t have any context for this at all.

2003 - OD

3rd year of my dependency to (Free)OpenDiary.

Good lord.

Here’s to another interesting year.

So sometime in those three years, OpenDiary changed their name to FreeOpenDiary. Nothing about the name rolled off the tongue or fingers well. At least I admitted I had a blogging ‘problem’ at this point.

2004 - LJ

Somewhere between then and now I made my transition over to LiveJournal. I remember blogging more than I had (and I may have had a Xanga somewhere)… but I may have had one or two long moments of purging… and these entries may be lost forever. Or another explanation is that I moved back home by this point, and lost my rather awesome and constant internet connection. No internet, no blogging. Makes perfect sense.

2005 - LJ

I copied and pasted a scene from Swingers here. The scene where Rob counsels Mike on whether or not to call back/take back the girl. Except change all the hers to hims and shes to hes (since I’m a girl and all)… and that basically sums up into yet another boy-girl relationship (or in my case, lack thereof) issue. I’m clearly still into the personal blogging stage.

2006 - LJ

Greg Flint, senior pastor at First Congregational Church in Eugeue, OR USA:

“Millions of public dollars have been spent on spreading the basic message that sexuality is a dirty, nasty, and sinful part of yourself that you have to save for the person you marry,” he said. “Imagine that, saving the worst, the dirtiest part of yourself for the one person you are supposed to love for the rest of your life! That’s just so bad, and it’s just so wrong. What abstinence education is really about is power. If you can control people’s sexual lives, you can control people.”

Discuss.

I’ve gone down the ‘blog as a discussion forum’ method. So, anyone still want to discuss?

2007 - LJ

pls tell me why i can’t be happy for J that he gets to go on this cool sounding business trip with skiing lessons and other fun things because he made an excel sheet that does permutations and he’s getting a crazy big raise. and i create something that no one else in my company knows about (blogs) and i get an ipod shuffle. im just avoiding talking about it with him  i figure its better that i just not say anything at all. he creates an excel sheet. i create a whole new protocol for the company. where is that fair?

Only 3 years ago, and STILL young and stupid. Also — NEVER date anyone you work with. Plenty of awkwardness ensues. Please see above. Note: this is about as open about my personal life as I get on here.

2008 - 25centlife.com

• I think I should go into hibernation every winter. I’m phenomenally good at sleeping for long periods of time. In addition to that, I don’t retain heat.
• You know there are people who are just walking space heaters? They just radiate heat all day long. I should be a walking air conditioner. The air surrounding me is a proven 5 degrees cooler than the rest of the atmosphere. **
• Young people like Barack Obama because of his potential to make change happen. For most of my life, I’ve been told that I need to look outside old conventions to be able to do something new and innovative. Hillary Clinton represents the old school, the old convention. Not only that, but she’s also a petulant bitch. Besides, she makes comments about how there’s been too much Bush for too long. So, why would we really want ANOTHER Clinton? Just sayin.
• I hate being political. I’m just plain averse to it. My last stint in politics was in 9th grade. I ran for Student Council Representative. I won once before, in 4th grade. And I was completely awful at it. I don’t know why I ran a 2nd time, nor why any of my classmates even nominated me.
• I hate when I come up with a series of awesome ideas for a post, but by the time I get to the computer, I’ve forgotten half of them.

**NOTE: It’s not really scientifically proven. Be smart about this.

This sums up well why twitter and I get along.

2009 - this site

Last year I was lazy and just reposted my first post ever in its entirety.

1) I blog a lot.

2) I like blogging a lot

3) This 10 year anniversary post wasn’t nearly as thought provoking or as reflective as I thought it would be. I should work on that for the 15 year anniversary

After 6 months of living on my own, it’s become painfully obvious that my cooking skills are nowhere near that of the food bloggers I love to follow (ahem: Anya, Michelle, Katy). But I’ve been known to be able to pull off a few miracles here and there — most notably, the New Year’s pancit bihon.

But I food tweet. Food twitpic. And take pictures of nearly everything I eat. And there hasn’t been much yet that’s disappointed me. So that’s one. The one I wanted to create in the first place.

I’ve also owned ’stylepsandqs.com’ (the domain) for nearly a year now. And for whatever reason, haven’t yet mustered up the effort to keep that one going. I mean keeping up with this site is bad enough. No, not bad. Effort enough. At any rate, that’s the other. Eventually, I’ll move that tumblr into the owned domain.

So, there you go. Food and Style. The links will be up in the sidebar shortly.

Lost and Gone Forever preview - 2/9/10

GOOGLE BUZZ - coming to a gmail window near you

Google’s convenient little video:

Some short points that I gleaned (while not taking notes at all):

• You can get at it via Gmail
• There’s a handy little Buzz tab under your Inbox tab
• You can share with the people you talk to the most on Gmail
• Create conversation with your friends right in the little window (goodbye mass emails?)
• Supports @replies — like Twitter
• Can share Twitter things, but it’s only one way for now
• Integrated as a new layer with Google Maps
• Comes with a full photo viewer
• Integrated with Picasa and Flickr — yay full photo viewer!
• full video player (well, they bought YouTube, I should hope they have video)
• MOBILE BUZZ (droid and symbian (I think that was the 2nd one — someone correct me if i’m wrong)

I’ll be updating this post later with other people’s posts. Hopefully other people who took notes.

Mashable - Google Buzz Makes Gmail Social

Gmail Blog - Google Buzz in Gmail

Crunchbase - Google Buzz

TechCrunch - If Google Wave is the Future, Google Buzz is the Present

I’m super excited about this new product. You should be too. I foresee a lot of me playing around with this new thing in the future!

• WTF
• WTF WTF WTF WTF
• They’re on the plane again! Is that Jack as it should have happened minus the crash or is that Jack hallucinating?
• (I should have started this when I was watching, not when I started watching Teen Mom afterwards)
• Bernard came back from the bathroom..
• And Kate’s up in a tree… Why is she in a tree and where is everyone else?
• Where did Miles come from?
• (Crap, this can’t be a good sign.. that’s way more questions than I have answers so far)
• Yay! back to 2007..8?..9? it IS 2007 — right?
• Now, which hatch is that?
• OMG Juliet! (she’s probably gonna die… ) (oh look, I was right.) (SAD)
• Jacob! Hurley really does see dead people. Is Jacob going to come back? Or is Sayid going to be the next Jacob? And how the heck does this fit in with the Others? Or the Other Others?
• And aww. All the Oceanic 6 that came back (minus Aaron)… still connected with each other in some way.
• ARZT. God, he’s really annoying.
• NEIL. God, he’s really annoying.
• When did they film this? Back in the beginning when they were still filming the pilot?
• My god, the guy who plays Locke is AMAZING. He deserves a… what’s it called.. Emmy. Golden Globe? I don’t know the difference between these things.
• What worked? How did it work? How did she know it worked?!
• There was a whole lot of OMGWTF in the LAX airport…
• Do the temple others know about the Others… and if Ben didn’t know then.. um.
• What’s the difference if the water isn’t clear?
• And holy smokes (haha), not-Locke is Smokey so when was the ash broken so he could get out? Was it a Oceanic 815 piece?

Crap. I give up. I should have taken notes .. or tried to… oh I’ll figure this out somehow.

Far more coherent blurb here: Lost and Gone Forever (as in Lost, TV show, not Guster album)

Wikipedia
MySpace
Facebook

Videos:

What I did isn’t important. My reasons/excuses for having done it aren’t important (and on top of that, there is no actual valid reason or excuse for this to ever have happened).

Even after this is posted, I don’t think I’ll ever feel better about the whole incident, I may forget it after a while. But I’ll never be able to look back and feel good about myself or ever feel validated for having done it. There is no other direction except away from this, to never look back. Because looking back just makes everything worse.

He wasn’t all the way completely right in everything. And neither was I. I was never always completely innocent either. I need to remember to realize that. I need to remember it.

That’s enough now. Enough.

Tweet 1:

yoga in a few hours is fail because i have wicked insomnia & someone this tired should not be sticking herself in an extremely hot/humid rm.

Tweet 2:

i do not want to have heatstroke this morning, i do not want to have to deal with passing out after 30 min.

Tweet 3:

i WILL do this yoga thing bc i want to feel better, but i don’t want to have to kill myself in the process of doing so (&I’ve been 1/2 dead)

I’ve had this odd obsession with Bikram/hot yoga for almost 2 years now, since attending 3 classes with a cousin on my 2nd to last visit to Manila (Philippines).I found it odd that it felt much warmer, and far more humid inside this little studio than it was outside. Manila’s got some insane (but I love it!) tropical weather. At any rate, I don’t think I ever made it through any of the three classes without finding the need to sit down and just breathe (if we sat out part of the time, we weren’t allowed to close our eyes) at least 2x. It also didn’t help that I definitely had the flu a day after the third class. Despite the oppressive conditions, I actually found some peace of mind, and remarkably a sense of refreshment after every class. Just as long as I remembered to ignore the gross feeling of sweat on every surface and crevice (some that I didn’t even know existed) of my body. I don’t sweat that much, and even when I was forced to exercise in high school/college I don’t think I ever sweat *that* much.

At any rate, I’ve been addicted to that feeling I’ve never quite gotten since. It’s difficult for me to put into words, but it’s something I’ve always strived for. Imagine my delight when I discovered a nice studio not too far from my new apartment. I’d just never gotten a chance to go because: driving there is unfamiliar, I didn’t have the proper amount of funds, having my sleep schedule all turned on its head due to lack of employment…etc… all these other stupid reasons. The last reason has been the biggest determent. How can I go, know that I can’t physically make it through such a grueling session but want to go so badly it kills me to know that I *KNOW* my body won’t be able to take the stress? I can’t punish myself physically for wanting to get that euphoric fix… AND I have to operate a moving vehicle directly after.

If pulling an all-nighter (which is completely non-voluntary these days, I assure you) is the equivalent of having a drink or two, I shouldn’t be driving, much less put my body in an equally harmful situation. I’ve had wicked insomnia for nearly a month now. It’s not nearly as detrimental when I know I don’t have to be up early in the morning… but not so good when I need to be at the studio about 30 min before the class to get myself settled, and since I’m not a morning person, have to be up earlier just to get myself out of the apt. Which is now not happening, since I know I hadn’t gotten any sleep. Despite trying various relaxation and meditation techniques (besides counting sheep) — which have historically worked… just not tonight. Er, last night. Or the vast number of sleepless nights I’ve had lately.

In conclusion, I will attempt to once again go to bed close to the crack of dawn — with no chance of me waking/getting up in an hr to get to the yoga that I so desperately want, but won’t actually be able to get my money’s worth. I am made of self-motivational fail.

freakish thing of note: the word count right before ‘in conclusion…’ was 666. Evil.

future thing of note: whenever I do get around to attempting yoga again, I’ll post more. hopefully I’ll end up feeling better about everything. which has been the plan from the start.

In short, he brought a certain something to the classic tale. Also, I had no clue lasso was pronounced ‘lassoo’. Must be a British thing. Or a Neil thing. Either way, highly amusing, and most of the small children in the audience (I mean, Peter and the Wolf!!) seemed as captivated as we were. They played a festivus piece (I forget the full name, and am rapidly fading, so too lazy to look it up) before Neil. And two pieces afterwards… the 3rd was something about eternal strings, and a trumpet player in the balcony — which was absolutely riveting. And the last piece was a very very long thing, complete with a tenor, singing the praises of Henry Hudson exploring the NY/Manhattan area. It was rather long for my tastes, and I soon found myself squirming and getting restless… It’s not that I don’t appreciate a good orchestra, and the whole thing was amazing… but hm. Actually, that wasn’t the last piece. The last piece, the conductor invited us to get up and dance a la a Russian ballroom. And that’s when we saw her. Miss Amanda Palmer dancing gaily near the stage, first with an unidentified man, then to our viewing pleasure, her new fiancee. Geez, I just sounded like a complete voyeur there.

Gotta say, that brought smiles to our faces. Hooray for joy and love and happy! (And trust me, I haven’t been feeling a lot of any of those things lately, but that no longer matters)

It reminded both my friend and I that it’s good to be on our own and single, and that we’ll be okay. It was a rather excellent night… filled with aforementioned joy and happy, adventure (we walked around several blocks in a complete circle trying to find the dang subway — curse you extraneous construction and roadblocks!), and awesome Japanese food.

I also need to learn names of places to foursquare properly. (Yes. I just used ‘foursquare’ as a verb. Watch it catch on now.)

My words confuse you
My eyes don’t move a blink
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be sincere
Somehow I make you believe
Believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
Honest is easy
Fiction is where genius lies
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be involved
Somehow I make you believe
Believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt

Guster - Demons - Summerfest - Front Row 2009 (from Savral)