Turning Point

Not to be confused with the tipping point (something I haven’t finished reading yet).

I’m moving. I’ve got my own place. I’m going to be out on my own. Finally. Certain things happened earlier this year, that were the catalyst for the life results now.

Probably to my best friend’s disappointment, I only realize some things after hours of overanalysis of decisions I’ve made, life directions I’ve decided to follow.

If I never started second guessing [a person], I wouldn’t have known that I could do better.
If I never wondered why [a person] had said the things they had, I would never have known to imagine possibilities without them.
If I didn’t seek to correct another’s mistake, I would not have spoken to someone about possibilities of another life.
If I denied myself the opportunity to make another friend, I wouldn’t have realized that I could have my own life before attaching it to someone else’s.
If I listened to my logical side (is it clear to see that I almost never function purely on logic?) instead of my heart, I might have locked myself into a life I would never wish upon myself. A life without love.
If I never challenged myself to do things on my own, by myself, I wouldn’t be in the position I am today.
If I never allowed my heart to love freely… maybe I wouldn’t…

Sorry, not going into that much detail.

The last 6 months have been tumultuous. But I think I finally see the calm waters ahead. I hope they’re calm, anyway. With a minimum of drama.

I wish some things about earlier this year had turned out slightly different. Maybe I would be happier, maybe I would feel more loved. But I can’t help but think that all these moments and events HAD to run their course the way they did.

Things aren’t completely disagreeable. But I do miss a lot of the happy that was.