Hark! Tis talk like Shakespeare day!

Not till Thursday, technically. But this April 23, commonfolk (and even higher ranking ones) are encouraged to talk Shakespeare style. So, brusheth off your Romeo and Juliet, your Hamlet, or your Merchant of Venice if thou hasn’t read those in a while and start speaking like they did, back in those olden days.

If thou needst more help, then goeth to talklikeshakespeare.org, a website launched by the Chicago Shakespeare Theater on Monday.

If thou wouldst rather slingeth insults, like one normally wouldst when in possession of language knowledge beyond your peers (though, technically not in this case), try out the random Shakespearean insult generator. Tis a lovely little application from the UK. How about some “Thou lascivious toad-spotted mammet!” or a smidge of “Thou clouted hell-hated devil-incarnate!” (ooh, I do liketh that one!) or let’s throw in a dash of “Thou fobbing clay-brained puttock!” Heh.

The CNN article, linked above, also provided a few quick tips if thou art having trouble adapting your Shakespeareisms:

• Don’t waste time saying “it.” Just use the letter “t” (’tis, ’twill, I’ll do’t).
• To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with “methinks,” “mayhaps,” “in sooth” or “wherefore.”
• When in doubt, add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).

Go forth on the morrow, thou goatish common-kissing murderous coward!

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